A Safe Society for Women

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women.” Maya Angelou – a Civil Rights activist.

The idea of creating a safe society for women often translates into making women more like men. In society, there are various definitions of what it means to be a man: strength, stoicism, and the ability to do as one pleases. Many women today are raising their daughters to embody these traits traditionally associated with men. But if our goal is to create safety for women from the behaviors of men, why are we trying to make women emulate men? Why can't we empower women to be strong while retaining their femininity? And why aren't we also working to encourage men to be more empathetic and gentle?

Society is built upon homes and families, where husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters coexist. The practices and dynamics within these homes often become societal norms, perpetuated and imitated by future generations. The distinctions we make at home between the roles of fathers and mothers, or husbands and wives, are observed and replicated by our children, continuing the cycle.

Achieving a safe society is not an overnight feat but a gradual process. It begins with the current generation changing their behavior, which is then mirrored by their children. For instance, when a wife is encouraged to express her opinions, she teaches her son to respect his future wife's opinions and empowers her daughter to voice her own.

A relationship built on mutual respect between spouses and parents sets a foundation for challenging age-old societal norms. Simple actions like sharing household chores equally between husband and wife can initiate positive change. Recognizing and supporting a woman's professional ambitions is equally crucial.

It's essential to acknowledge and embrace the inherent differences between men and women while advocating for equal rights. Equality isn't about being the same but rather understanding and respecting each other's differences.

The long-standing traditions of patriarchal norms, where men are considered the head of the family and heirs to ancestral property, coupled with the acceptance of crimes against women, can only be dismantled by educated couples committed to driving change for the future. Instilling in a son the belief in treating women as equals may be more achievable than persuading older generations who may struggle to conceive of such ideas.

The notion that physical or emotional harm against women defines masculinity must be challenged. The path to achieving this begins with parents today modeling respect and equality in their own lives, so that future generations can emulate these values. This cultural shift requires proactive efforts to reshape societal norms and promote a safer, more equitable environment for all.

Segregating public transport exclusively for women and employing female cab drivers solely for women passengers may inadvertently deepen the fear women have towards men. It reinforces the idea that women can only feel safe when there are no men present.

To truly minimize this fear, it's crucial for more men to actively support and stand up for women's safety and rights, not just women themselves. History demonstrates that significant progress in overcoming oppression occurs when individuals from within the oppressor's group advocate for change alongside those directly affected. For instance, during the abolitionist movement, white allies fought alongside black activists for freedom and equality. Similarly, historical practices like Sati were challenged and eventually outlawed with the advocacy of reformers like Raja Ram Mohan Roy, a man who campaigned against this practice.

In contemporary times, initiatives like Farhan Akhtar's M.A.R.D (Men Against Rape and Discrimination) campaign play a vital role in raising awareness and mobilizing men to support gender equality and combat violence against women. This collective effort is essential for fostering a society where women can feel secure and respected, regardless of their surroundings.

Merely increasing the number of women constables, reserving public transport, or establishing helplines will not fundamentally address the issue of women's safety in society. These measures can sometimes inadvertently perpetuate fear and deepen divisions between genders.

True change will only come when there is a shift in societal mentality. Instead of relying solely on reservations or segregations, it's crucial to focus on educating men about what it truly means to respect and support women.

Parents, especially fathers, play a pivotal role in shaping their sons' attitudes towards women. It's not enough to shower daughters with love and affection; it's equally important to demonstrate respectful behavior towards mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters in front of sons. This sets a crucial example and fosters a culture of mutual respect within families and communities.

It's disheartening that women, who bring life into the world, often face indignity and disrespect. To create a safe society for women, both men and women must work together to challenge harmful stereotypes, promote equality, and foster an environment where every individual, regardless of gender, feels valued and respected.

But I believe the tide is changing. Within my circle of friends, there's a shared belief that true societal change begins within our own homes. As a parent to two sons and an advocate for the safety and well-being of two girls, I am committed to this cause. Are you ready to join me in making a difference?

-SuVi