I wished my 16-year-old "A Happy Independence Day," and he looked at me in amazement, asking, "What are you happy about? Which independence are you talking about? Every now and then, there’s a Nirbhaya in every state. What exactly are we celebrating?"
His reaction is why I write this today.
Long live Nirbhaya! Not in the sense of justice served through fast-track courts or punishment for perpetrators, but in the sense that every woman, anywhere, at any time, seems like a potential Nirbhaya. Every street, every city, holds that threat.
Many of us celebrated in societies, cities, states, and across the nation. But like my son asked—what are we celebrating?
Every man and woman who speaks in Parliament is now silent. There will be a flood of 'We condemn this act' statements, just like this one. There will be articles, songs, movies, and documentaries about this situation. But will there be justice? Will it stop? This is not just an India problem; it's a global one. A man feels powerful when he violates a woman’s dignity.
It may look like plain, brutal physical violence, but it is so much more. Only the woman who survives, who dares to live on, understands the lasting mental violence she will carry with her. It’s a constant battle.
Whenever such incidents occur, the same questions get asked: What was she wearing? What was she doing there at this hour? There must have been a reason... As if her mere existence was justification for the crime.
Are we serious?
As long as we ask such questions, as long as we justify a man's actions, there is no hope. Is this the equality we are fighting for? Perhaps we should return to the dark ages: Kill a girl child at birth, and if she survives, marry her off young so she becomes someone else’s burden. Strip her of the right to speak her mind or wear what she wants. Confine her to the kitchen and the bedroom, where her only purpose is to serve and deliver... and make sure she delivers only sons!
Every day is a fight for most women. No, I’m not a feminist, but I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. And I can’t even begin to fathom what a rape victim goes through, because what happened to me as a child still haunts me. I am still afraid—afraid around certain people, afraid while traveling late at night, afraid in a quiet alley, or even on a crowded street. I'm afraid of being treated as public property, reduced to just a body—groped, violated, berated.
For women like me, surviving every day is not easy. This is a fight. Being touched inappropriately, having horrible things whispered to you—that’s routine. But I have courage because I am my own best friend. I am lucky to have a few close friends and family who understand and support me. And now, I am proud.
I am proud because I have a 16-year-old son—a boy who I believe I’m raising well. He’s sensitive. He understands what women go through. And I know he will stand up for me, and for you.
But will there ever be a solution? Maybe, just maybe, if the men of this generation lead by action, not words. Maybe if they show how to treat a woman with respect, and if they fight for justice for us against their fellow men, we will see change. And it’s not just about bringing up girls to be stronger—we must also raise our boys to be sensitive and kind.
To the men: Don’t sing us songs. Don’t make us movies. Don’t shower us with hollow words or gifts. Please get up and fight your own kind. Call out your friends, your brothers, your colleagues. Show us—not in words, but in action—that you stand for us, that you reject the culture that lets this happen over and over.
Fight for us, so we no longer have to fight alone. True independence is when every woman can walk free—free from fear, free from shame, free from violence.
Until then, 15th August may mark the independence of a nation, but for its women—freedom is still a distant dream.
-SuVi
16th August 2024
Some time back I had captured the same fear in a Poem as well: https://www.lala-girl.com/post/ray-of-hope
The Kolkatta Rape Case
There's a lot of discussions going on, news channels are bringing this horrifying case into light daily. Other modes of communication are doing the same, but this happens everytime. Untill and unless punishment is not delivered to people committing such crimes I do not see how it will stop. How do the culprits getaway? Once the culprits escapes they become bolder and commit more malicious crimes. Why not simply encounter these persons. No do not kill them let them live behind bars with such an injury that they wish for death but unfortunately do not get it.
We must talk daily among families, friends,societies, schools, colleges, and workplaces. Freedom is for all and one should not intrude in another person's life it is punishable and unacceptable to exhibit wrong behavior irrespective of gender, caste, creed, or religion.
Your son's question, 'What are we celebrating?' is a stark reminder. We can't even begin to imagine the pain endured by girls in shelter homes, rag-pickers, or women living in roadside shanties, who suffer sexual harassment and can't even voice their trauma.
A sensitized upbringing of the next generation is the least we can do as parents to the current generation. As a parent myself, I owe this to them so that sanity prevails.
Your words are powerful and resonate deeply. True independence will only be achieved when every woman can live without fear or shame. We must all take responsibility, especially in raising the next generation to value respect and humanity. Your son's awareness gives hope for a better future—where our daughters and sisters can truly be free. Thank you for sharing this important message