I have many stories to tell now that I travel by the Mumbai Metro. I never work hard to please anyone, so it's hard to please me either. People like me, when we travel, find innumerable stories to tell because we are dissatisfied with (mostly) everything happening around us and have a problem with (almost) everyone sitting beside us. Yet, we are never vocal about the local, so we continue to travel from aaj to kal.
Now imagine Mumbai Metro train as a Film Studio!
Scene #1
Chorus
· Darwaaja pasoon antar thevun ubhe raha.
· Please stand clear of the door.
Verse 1
· Hee train Gundavali sthanak paranth jaanar aahe. Pudheel sthanak Borivili paschim.
· This Train terminates at Gundavali station. Next station is Borivili West.
After approx. 5 seconds:
Verse 2
· Borivili pacshim, sthanak.. Daavi Kade darvaje ughadtil. Train ani platform madhe antaravar laksh dya.
Mumbai metro madhun pravaas kela badal dhanyavaad. Krupya aaple saamaan aathvani ne sobadh ghya.
· Borivili west, station. Doors will open on the left. Please mind the gap between the train and platform.
Thank you for traveling with Mumbai Metro. Please remember to take all your belongings with you.
After 5 seconds the above song is on loop, with change in the name of the Station.
Me: Thank you.
Scene 2:
Loud Conversation.
Eg 1: "Yaar budget toh share kiya tha na tere saath subah."
Eg 2: "Arrey madam, mera finance ka thoda problem chal raha hai aap ek mahina do, main adjust karti hoon."
Eg 3: "Nai nai paise maine theek se invest kiye hain. 4 account rakhta hoon na main."
Me: “Debit card ka pin bhi bata do.”
Scene 3:
INSTA.nt KHICHDI
Phone 1: Scrolling Bhojpuri Content (without head/ear phones)
Phone 2: Scrolling Viral Videos (without head/ear phones)
Phone 3: Watching Balaji Content (without head/ear phones)
Me: "Hey, bhagwan utha le mujhe."
Scene 4:
Doing a Video call while IN THE TRAIN (where Network doesn’t really follow)
Train Person: “Train ma choon.”
Other Person: “Haan, shoo?”
Train Person: (showing off traveling partner) “Aa jo Pravin Kaka”
Other Person: “Haan, shooo?”
Train Person: “Paachal phone karees.”
Me: Rolling eyes.
Scene 5:
Passenger practising chewing in the most loud possible fashion.
Me: Trying to compose a track to that tune.
Scene 6: (only if you are lucky)
Grandfather walks in with his grandchildren and SAREGAMA CARAVAN and made sure all of us heard the songs he liked:
· Voh jab yaad aaye bohath yaad aaye.
· Aksar koi ladki is haal mein, kisi ladke se solve saal mein.
Now imagine Scenes 1-2-3-4-5-6…. ALL happen at the SAME TIME and around where YOU are sitting!
In the middle of all this, what I now hear is...
“Pudheel Station, @#$%$&^%. Daavi kade darvaje ughadtil. Train ani platform, haan antaraat lapun jha.”
Thank you fellow travellers for Entertaining me.
-SuVi
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